Blue Passports

23rd June 2016. Independence Day. Brexit means Brexit, what a time to be alive. Article 50 mate.

I’m a proud Englishman me, a proper patriot. Flag of St George tattooed on my right arm, British bulldog on the left. Shaven head, face like a haunted omelette.

We’re taking back sovereignty. Pull up the drawbridge lads, we’re full. Go home. Born in Leamington Spa you say? No mate, I’m not a racist, I love a curry.

No no, not that kind of sovereignty. Frustrating the will of the British people. Fucking traitors, hang ‘em for treason. Land of hope and glory mate.

Hard Brexit, no quarter. We’re sick of experts. If Nigel says it’ll be fine that’s all I need. Rees-Mogg for PM, champion of the working class.

Exit bill? We’ve already paid our exit bill. Spirit of the blitz. One World Cup and two World Wars. Fuck off Merkel. Face like she’s chewing a wasp. Get back in the kitchen, love.

Shut it Remoaners. We don’t need a trade deal, we’ll go it alone. A return to the days of empire, putting the Great back in Great Britain. Traitors, fucking snowflakes. Frustrating the will of the British people.

Sod the refugees, they’re terrorists anyway. No women and children see? Why don’t the cowards stay home and fight? Send them back, fuck ‘em. British jobs for British workers, no room at the inn.

Blue passports. Brings a tear to the eye, what a result my son. Makes you proud to be British. £350 million for the NHS? Economic impact studies? Frustrating the will of the British people.

Blue passports mate. Blue fucking passports.

Lefty Protest Song

Pull the plugs and cut the wires
Throw your smartphone on the fire
Shoot down the satellites,
Tear down the masts,
The only news we need is the weather forecast.

Delete Facebook, send your last tweet
Chuck your laptop in the street
Stop funding Murdoch,
Ignore the press.
It’s time we made some real progress.

Let’s go outside and make some noise
It’s time for action, girls and boys.
Let’s go outside and breath some air.
It’s time to say the revolution prayer.

I don’t really know where the internet is.
But dad never had it when he was a kid.
Too much information.
Eyes glued to screens.
One step away from being ruled by machines.

It’s got to stop, it’s gone too far.
A concrete jungle with a billion cars.
I’m all for progress,
But this ain’t it.
Dying from fumes that the city emits.

Let’s go outside and make some noise
It’s time for action, girls and boys.
Let’s go outside and breath some air.
It’s time to say the revolution prayer.

Goodbye media, goodbye big oil.
Goodbye industry that kills the soil.
Goodbye tech giants that pretend to be poor.
Goodbye to politics that vilify the poor.

Let’s go outside and make some noise
It’s time for action, girls and boys.
Let’s go outside and breath some air.
It’s time to say the revolution prayer.